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Penn State Confirms Size Does Matter

The university agrees: Size does matter.

Penn State Student Affairs has launched a campaign this semester to set the record straight, one advertisement at a time. These ads have appeared across campus and even on our own li’l ole blog over the past few weeks.

Interestingly enough, the ads have also appeared in Stall Stories, an ad sheet Residence Life prepares for bathrooms in campus residence halls. How convenient.

Another version clarifies the ads refer to the size of alcoholic drinks, explaining a normal water bottle holds more than 11 shots.

The campaign actually promotes Penn State’s responsible action protocol, using #ChooseYourStory. The university expanded its responsible action protocol (like medical amnesty) earlier this semester to protect both the person calling for help and the person for whom help is being sought from discipline.

“Call for help if you are concerned about someone’s well-being,” the campaign’s landing page reads. “Students who notify authorities by calling 911, alerting a resident assistant, or calling police typically won’t face disciplinary action or prosecution for drinking.”

The website includes “quick facts” about choosing your story and resources for getting the appropriate help in unsafe and emergency situations.

You can even download handy dandy social media graphics to let your friends know that you think size matters, too.

Is Penn State making a penis joke? Does it know this could be construed as a penis joke? The world may never know, as the university did not respond to requests for comment.

Here’s hoping this marketing slogan didn’t cost $800,000.

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About the Author

Elissa Hill

Elissa was the managing editor of Onward State from 2017-2019. She is from Punxsutawney, PA [insert corny Bill Murray joke here] and considers herself an expert on all things ice cream. Follow her on Twitter (@ElissaKHill) for more corny jokes.

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