If you’ve ventured out recently, you may have spotted a large gorilla running around campus and downtown. The gorilla, who goes by “Buzz,” seems to be popping up everywhere.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CaR2InAL5TH/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Naturally, we tracked down the quirky primate to hear his story. Luckily, Buzz is pretty active on Instagram, so we got down to monkey business and asked him a few questions.

Buzz’s thumbs are too big to type (and he speaks only gorilla), so Buzz’s personal handler was kind enough to translate the interview for us.

Onward State: Before we get started, what are your preferred pronouns?

Buzz: DhshGC hOnBvGh slaps hens sojsbehwiaoa soaked sus S S F j

Translation: Buzz thinks he’s a guy, but he doesn’t have the resources to prove that.

Onward State: Cool. What’s your favorite part about being a gorilla?

Buzz: hjJ Bjb b Dkdinashvs J nah hb! Disk

Translation: Buzz said he loves running around and seeing all the college people and their reactions to him. One time, a girl screamed and ran away. He was pretty sad about that.

Onward State: Using the chart, what is the optimal banana would you choose to eat?

Buzz: HuisosidhdbehJfbsb is oaken Jzisksksndbd mnc

Translation: Buzz actually hates bananas and will gag at the sight of them.

Onward State: Interesting. So, how’d you end up at Penn State?

Buzz: DososjsbJknd is hahabvdhshsjs sjsudhs ushers

Translation: Buzz was shipped to State College in a box from Detroit around October 2021.

Onward State: We saw you were at THON. How was that experience?

Buzz: Susiusdh I’d share jfhdbd b fjdjidis jsbNjg hBb Hd didhave

Translation: Buzz still doesn’t really know how he was able to get in. Regardless, he really enjoyed it. He took lots of pictures with the students and kids, and he had a blast running around.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CaU_YKnLw2W/

Onward State: What are your thoughts on the Nittany Lion? Are you rivals or besties?

Buzz: hB djshdbsbd d Djsjdbsb

Translation: Buzz has yet to meet the Nittany Lion, but he would love to show him up in a one-armed pushup contest.

Onward State: What does a typical day look like for you?

Buzz: Djdisidj DjsisidjhBjsoapdkbfoPnBjOjdvsj

Translation: Buzz wakes up at the break of dawn to go to work. He will drink over a gallon of milk a day. When he gets home, he works out to maintain his chiseled body. He likes to end the night with his favorite meal: burgers. Then, he’ll light some candles and read before bed.

Onward State: We hear you like to go out. Which State College bar is your favorite?

Buzz: Didisjbdjfkf isoajd offendifidbdb

Translation: Buzz has been to only Stage West, but he really enjoyed it. He hopes to go to the other bars downtown, too.

Onward State: What’s your go-to drink?

Buzz: hjJ Bjb b Dkdinashvs J nah hb

Translation: Buzz pretty much only drinks milk.

Onward State: Per Onward State tradition, if you could be any dinosaur, what would you be and why?

Buzz: sjsbJknd is hahabvdhdinashvsbvdhd

Translation: Buzz doesn’t know what dinosaurs are, but when we showed him a bunch of pictures he said he liked the micropachycephalosaurus because it had a “funny head.”

After the interview, Buzz was pretty tired, so he lied down on Old Main Lawn to take a nap. Goodnight, Buzz!