Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.

Nice.

As Penn State continues sustainability efforts around campus, a HUB water fountain hit a significant milestone while slowing down students’ plastic pollution.

On Friday, the water fountain up near the HUB’s Pollock Road entrance officially hit “69,420 plastic bottles saved.” Students walking by cheered following the momentous achievement.

A crowd of students gathered at the fountain to watch Sarah Edwards, a senior mechanical engineering major from Philadelphia, hit the milestone while filling up her bottle.

“At first, I was confused why everyone was watching me fill up my water bottle, but I guess it’s cool that I got to get to the funny number,” she said. “I don’t know why people care so much about this. That guy over there was staring at the number counter the whole time.”

The “guy over there” was James Stevenson, a fellow engineering student who says he’d always dreamed of this day.

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. When I saw the number was close, I actually decided to stay here until it happened,” Stevenson said. “I’ve been living in the HUB for three days and eating exclusively Slim Chickens, but at least I got to witness this. This was a life-changing event.

Penn State released a statement from President Eric Barron to officially commend the university’s students for their nice commitment to sustainability. It’s not an overreaction to suggest the occasion could go down as the most prestigious moment in Barron’s tenure at Penn State.

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